The grass is greener on the other side
If there is something I have learned with life is that the grass is always greener on the other side, meaning we will always want what we don’t have. If you have a nice comfortable home to go back to, you will look out for those who travel the world and jump from house to house. If you are anything like me and you have had several houses but never home, you look out for those who go home, are able to put their books on a shelf and look forward to lay on the couch with a loved one to talk to about life. The same holds true for relationships. Those who are single desperately want to get into a relationship and those who are in a relationship ponder how it would be to be single again.
There is no perfect answer, and that’s just the stupidity of human nature. What matters, in the end, is being able to understand that this will happen, and cultivate mindfulness and patience.
Mindfulness is the amazing capacity we have to observe our thoughts and emotions and not react to them. Taking them as an external aspect of our being. People I admire as leaders are incredibly mindful.
Patience (in the long term) is the capacity to understand that small actions compound into the bigger things, the bigger goals and aspirations we might have for ourselves. I believe we should be incredibly impatient in the short term, but like Buddhas when working on our most inspiring goals.
I have thought about characteristics that make me admire someone: being hard-working, humble, kind, mindful and passionate about their fields. I have met some of these people and I could hear them talk forever and ever.
Out of all, I think I mostly appreciate genuinely kind and mindful people in addition to the other characteristics. The ones who give without expecting anything back and who are living in the moment. It’s easier to find mindful + kind (1) or hard-working + passionate (2) combinations. Combination (1) is what I would describe as people who take as they are given and are usually more spiritual. Combination (2) is what you usually find in the corporate or startup world, and can easily be ego-driven individuals. The four is the full pack for me and when I look at the people I want around me, that’s how I would describe them. It also comes from the similarity principle (we tend to relate more to people we see similar to us),
I made progress into becoming a more mindful person and here are some steps:
No notifications (I go on the phone, the phone doesn’t go to me)
Doing some sort of exercise early in the day
Doing one task at a time (if I am eating, I am eating)
Hanging out with people who have this characteristic enhanced
Being more intentional with what I post on social media
There is still a long journey, but I am working on one aspect of my personality at a time and seeing how it goes. I have been logging everything into my bullet journal and I really think it helps me stay on track.