Love advice, by a 50-something
I was sitting next to a 50-something years old Spanish woman and I noticed she was reading The Power of Now, from the same author of one of my favourite books. I immediately asked her about it, which quickly developed into a long conversation about spirituality, solo travelling, love and relationships. I looked into her eyes and saw myself growing older only to become some version of a stranger in an airplane. After 30-minutes we were both in tears, aware we were telling each other things we could never tell anyone, simply because we knew we would never see each other again. She said I reminded her of her younger self: curious, bold and intense, experiencing life to the fullest.
She fell in love twice in her life. The first time was for a girl she connected with. She didn’t want to explore it at the time. The second time was for this man that opened his arms to her after her brother killed himself last year. She is married and yet, she found a support system in him. He ghosted her without explanation. I asked her how she knew her husband was the one, and how she could be with someone she was not in love with. She said he completed her and made it easy to love and be loved. And that love is overrated and not enough for a successful relationship. I fancy saying love is everything and that I want to love without limits and that’s enough but I have faced the cold reality that’s not true. Did our parent’s generation have it easier by learning how to fall in and out of love? Am I so naive to think that’s giving up on love? And that we need to love ourselves first unconditionally and then love will come?
When you are open, you connect and go deep. When you go deep, you are connected, and that surpasses the physical space.
No puedes querer que alguien te quiera como quieres que te quiera. Tienes que aceptar que te quiera como sepa y quiera querer.
You can’t be friends with someone you love.
You can fall in love even when you are married. Love is not about sex.
As humans we desire answers. Not understanding why something happens is the hardest thing to overcome.
Algún día todo tendrá sentido. Por ahora, ríe ante la confusión, sonríe a través de las lágrimas y síguete recordando que todo sucede por algo. Paulo Coelho